Beers, 2/18

Stumble Inn, 2nd Ave at 76th St: 5 Bud Lights*

*The author spent a good portion of the night, which was cut short out of blind rage after an Evgeni Pluschenko choke-job, thinking up ways to end an interminable story being told by a girl who "had come ALL THE WAY from the west side to be here tonight!!!"

Evening Total: 5
Running 2010 Total: 130

Beers, Various Occasions

1/28

Madison Square Garden: 3 Budweisers
The Perfect Pint 45th btwn 2nd and 3rd: 1 Samuel Adams Noble Pils, 3 Guinnesses*

Evening Total: 7

2/5

La Caverna, Rivington and Essex: 1 Amstel Light, 2 Heinekens, 1 Corona**

Evening Total: 4

2/6

Rathbone's, 88th st at 2nd Ave.: 2 Guinnesses, 1 Samuel Adams

Evening Total: 3

2/7

Tenaglia Residence, 81 Brixton Rd, Garden City, NY, 11530: 5 Budweisers

Evening Total: 5

2/10

Rose Pizza, LIRR Corridor, Pennsylvania Station: 2 Budweisers
Red Sky, 29th St btwn Park and Madison: 1 Bud Light
Brother Jimmy's, 31st at Lexington, 2 Pabst Blue Ribbons

Evening Total: 5

2/13

Bar-whose-name-I-don't-remember, Atlantic City, NJ: 1 Harpoon IPA

Evening Total: 1

2/14

Brunch-place-whose-name-I-don't-remember, Atlantic City, NJ: 1 Samuel Adams Boston Red

Evening Total: 1

* The author apologizes for not including these beers originally. The author arrived at work the following morning at 9:45 and didn't want to talk about it

**Occured at a Cave-Theme bar, causing the other to ask, early and often, 'why?'

Running 2010 Total: 125

January Bathroom Visits Update

So thinks slowed down a little this weekend.  Becides Saturday which involved a Bloody Mary Benedict, a trip to Roggie's and an evening at BC, my number stayed pretty low for the week.  As I say this, I may be setting a record today, it is currently 2:00pm and I just made my first trip, even this morning when I woke up I skipped out on the usual stop, must be really dehydrated right now.

January 28: 6
January 29:6
January 30: 10
January 31: 4

January Total: 190 - Average 6.13 per day. On pace for 2237 on the year... lets see how that holds up.

February is on record pace.

Beers, 1/29 - 1/30

12/29

Ganjamie/Gordon/Mulderrig Residence: 2 Budweisers
Mad River, 3rd ave at 82nd st: 2 Bud Lights, 3 Heinekens

Evening Total: 7

12/30

Black Horse Pub, Mendham, NJ: 2 Guinnesses

Evening Total: 2

2010 Running Total: 99

Long Over Due: Pee Update

Well, as my good partner pointed out, I am long overdue for an update.  Since I last wrote you, I was on record pace on January 14.  Well, that record was set and I hit 12 on that day.  Through January 27 I have now gone to the bathroom 163 times for just barely over 6 times (6.04) per day.

January 14: 12
January 15: 5
January 16: 8
January 17:4
January 18: 5
January 19:5
January 20: 5
January 21: 7
January 22: 4
Januar 23: 6
January 24:5
January 25: 7
January 26: 5
January 27: 4

I will never take this long to update again.

Beers, 1/24

Kulkarni, Leber, Schink residence: 6 Natural Lights

Evening Total: 6 Beers
Running 2010 Total: 90 Beers

Beers, 1/23

Blind Tiger Ale House, Bleecker and Jones Sts: 2 Bear Republic Racer-5 IPAs
Half Pint, Laguardia Pl and w 3rd st.: 1 Boddington's Pub Ale, 1 Goose Island Matilda
Whiskeytown, E 3rd st. btwn Bowery and 2nd Ave: 4 Radeberger Pilsners

**All beers consumed during a father-son pub crawl. The author would like to note that all participants over age 50 consumed more than the author.

Evening Total: 8 Beers
Running 2010 Total: 82 Beers

Beers, 1/22

All beers consumed in New York, NY

Ganjamie Gordon Mulderrig Residence: 2 Post Road Pumpkin Ales
Marmarro Residence, 18th St. and 3rd Ave: 4 Miller Lites
Sidebar, Irvin Pl and 15th St: 4 Bud Lights

Evening Total: 10 Beers
Running 2010 Total: 74 Beers

Chalk it up

Well my loyal followers, I can officially announce my first PUKE of the new decade. After a night of debauchery with Joseph Tenaglia, Haus, and a bevy of Ignatius and BC kids, Tags and I decided to hit up the 24 hour Mickey D's that is located a mere block from my apartment. A Southern chicken sandwich and medium fry later, I was happily in bed by 4 a.m., with my alarm set for 9 in order to make a dentist appointment the following morning. I awoke and felt fine until I began to brush my teeth after my morning shower. While brushing my teeth, my gag reflex kicked in and I vomited that past nights Mickey D's into the sink. It was gross and I obviously didn't chew most of the fries I ate, because there were definitely whole pieces in my PUKE. So i guess we will just have to chalk this one up to the fact that I have a terrible gag reflex, and not that I was drinking copious amounts of alcohol the previous night.

Sleep soundly sweet followers,

HandomeGuy

2010 PUKE Count: 1

PUKE

Dear Lovahs of the HandomeGuy,

Days ago, I was courted by my dear friend Teej to contribute to this legendary blog, in which we keep track of the number of times we do meaningless, absolutely un-noteworthy things. I thought long and hard about some of the things I do on a somewhat weekly occasion. I shower, I shit, and I kick underage kids out of a bar. However, the meaningless thing that I do more often than anyone I know, is PUKE. I type the word PUKE in capital letters in order to stress the epic momentum and force in which I purge alcohol and other bodily fluids from my body after a night of drinking. Let me note at this juncture, that I am in no way bulimic nor do I have body image issues. I love myself. I actually think I'm pretty fucking awesome. I am an image of human perfection.

No my dear readers and friends, I just happen to drink far too much of far too many spirits and other alcoholic beverages, resulting in some of the world's worst recorded hangovers. I've been known to PUKE with such ferociousness, that I've broken blood vessels in my forehead, cheeks, and even my eye balls.

Some would say, "HandomeGuy, why do you drink so much, if you know you're going to be PUKING in the morning". And my response to this foolish question is always, "Sorry, I party". I enjoy slamming libations far too much to ever consider the notion of giving up alcohol. I just have far too much fun when I'm drinking. And far too little fun when I'm not. (Note: this is a serious sign of extreme alcoholism)

So my most loyal followers, I will record the number of times I PUKE in the year 2010. I will record where, when, and what I did the prior night that would lead to such a disastrous and foreseen ending. Please feel free to comment upon my posts and perhaps share some of your favorite tales of my vomiting exploits and how they have changed your life.

I bid you all sweet adieu,

HandomeGuy

Beers, 1/17

Brother Jimmy's Bait Shack, 3rd Ave at 92nd St, New York, NY: 5 Bud Lights*
Phebe's, Bowery at 4th St., New York, NY: 3 Magic Hat #9s

*Beers consumed as part of an "Unlimited Pitchers and Ribs" deal that put the author into a pork-induced coma. The author's girlfriend found it extremely offputting.

Evening Total: 8 Beers
Running 2010 Total: 64 Beers

Beers, 1/16

Sammy's Ye Olde Cider Mill, Main St., Mendham, NJ: 2 Heinekens

Evening Total: 2 Beers
Total Beers in 2010: 56

Slow Start

As of January 17th, HtB has not yet gone to any fast food style restaurants. HtB did, however, have a homemade chicken parm sandwich for dinner today and will be making bacon double chee burgs tomorrow for dinner. They are marinating as of this update.

Beers, 1/15

Unnamed Wall Street Firm, Trading Floor: 2 Magic Hat Odd Notions

Kulkarni/Leber/Schink Residence: 2 Natural Lights*

Kramer Residence, 11th St at 1st Ave, New York, NY: 2 Bud Lights, 1 Magic Hat Lucky Cat

Village Pour House, 3rd Ave. at 11th St., New York, NY: 3 Bud Lights**

WhiskeyTown, 3rd St. Btwn Bowery ad 2nd Ave., 2 Brooklyn Lager Cans***

*The author would like to note that Natural Light is "The Smooth Pilsner with All Natural Ingredients"

**Estimate. Exact figures cannot be determined as the pitcher purchased by the author was stolen by a fellow whom had obviously been abusing prescription medication and was not worth confronting.

***Cans accompanied by coozies, which amused the author. The author would also like the note that, en route to whiskeytown, a stop at The Continental was made, taking advantage of the 5 shots for $10 deal, and that the author himself did not consume all 5 of the shots, and that hopefully the author's friends would think more highly of the author than to assume that.

Total Beers: 12

Beers in 2010: 54

I have embraced technology and finally joined the blog

Friends and foes,

I will begin recording my visit to la palestra, no not Alex or Lappy's favorite website, this palestra is what you and I both know as the gym. So far 2010 is off to a slow start due to some mandatory exams I must take in order to legally do my jobz; however, "having said that", here are the totals for workouts this year:

Through Jan 15: 9

Feesh

Beers, 1/14

Kulkarni/Leber/Schink Residence: 2 Brooklyn Pilsner's, 1 Stella Artois

Total Beers: 3
Beers in 2010: 42

Beers, 1/11

All Beers Consumed on Upper East Side of Manhattan
Kulkarni/Leber/Schink Residence: 1 Bud Light, 1 Bud Light Golden Wheat
Rathbone's Pub: 1 Guinness*

*The author would like to note that he turned down a free shot of Melon Liquer offered by the bartender. This made the author feel better about himself.

Total Beers: 3
Beers in 2010: 39

On record pace...

Not sure why (probably to clean out my system) I have been pounding water all day.  That, combined with one coffee, is leading me towards my 2010 record.

While it is only 2:10 I have recently finished trip #6.  Not good considering I have all day, plus a basketball game where, the kind of shape I'm in, will force me to continue to drink a lot of water.

Everyone pray for me.

Trips to the Bathroom

A little relaxation sure makes things much easier.  Dropping the average again, adding 10 to the list in two days.  new average sits at 6.23 trips a day.

January 1-11: 71
January 12: 3
January 13: 7 (drank a lot of water)

Lets keep it coming

Dropping that Average

A few quiet days means not a lot of trips, the average has dipped.  Have now gone 71 times in 11 days for just under a 6.5 average

Jan 1-9: 60
Jan 10: 7
Jan 11: 4

Bathroom Trips, end of week

After 4 days of the new year, I was averaging 7 trips a day to the bathroom.  That average has gone down a little bit.  Total is now equal to 60 trips in 9 days.  Averaging 6.67 trips a day.


January 1-4: 28
January 5: 4
January 6: 6
January 7: 7
January 8: 7
January 9: 8

Beers, 1/9/2010

Odenath Residence, Water and John St., New York, NY: 1 Bud Light, 3 Brooklyn Pilsners
LIC Bar, Vernon BLVD, Queens, NY: 1 Anchor Steam
Pig and Whistle Pub, 3rd Avenue at 55th St., New York, NY: 1 Smithwick's Ale, 1 Guinness

Evening Total: 7
Running Total: 36

Beers, 1/8/2010

Rye Grill and Bar, Rye, NY: 1 Guinness*

Evening Total: 1
Running 2010 Total: 25

*The author would like to note that this beer was consumed as a means of closing out his credit card tab, which had been left open from the night before.

Beers, 1/7/2010

Rye Grill and Bar, Rye, NY: 4 Guinnesses

Evening Total: 4
Running 2010 Total: 28

Beers, 1/4/2010

None. Thank God.

Evening Total: 0
Running 2010 Total: 24

Beers, 1/3/2010

Farmakis Tailgate, Parking Lot 5C, East Rutherford, NJ: 3 Natural Lights, 1 Brooklyn Lager*

Evening Total: 4
Running 2010 Total: 24

*The author would like to note that his personal tailgating experience was cut short by the sudden, unavoidable need to use the restroom in the stadium.

Bathroom Visits

After a long New Year's Eve celebration, a night out with the boys on the 2nd/3rd and a Jets-Bengals tailgate, the number averages 7 a day.  Currently on pace for 2555... 

Bathroom trips after 4 full days in 2010

Jan 1: 8
Jan 2: 6
Jan 3: 8
Jan 4: 6

See a pattern?

Beers, 1/2/2010

All Beers Consumed in New York, NY:
Ganjamie/Gordon/Mulderrig Residence (GGM), 413 E90th St Btwn 1st and York: 3 Budweisers
DeMarco/Diamond/Sama Residence (DDS), 510 E20th St Btwen 1st and A: 2 Natural Lights, 1 Pilsner Urquell
Fiddlesticks Pub, Greenwich and 7th: 1 Guinness, 1 Budweiser
The Red Lion, Thompson and Bleecker St: 1 Guinness

The author would like to note that this was accompanied by several whiskies of varying variety and quality. This spawned a particularly vicious and persistent hangover.

Evening Total: 9 Beers
2010 Running Total: 20 Beers

Beers, 1/1/2010

Tenaglia Residence, 81 Brixton Rd, Garden City NY: 7 Bud Lights
McSorley's Old Ale House, E7th St. Btwn 2nd and 3rd Ave, New York, NY: 2 McSorley's Darks
Telephone Bar, 2nd Avenue At 9th St., New York, NY: 1 Goose Island IPA
Kinsale Pub, 3rd Avenue at 93rd St., New York, NY: 1 Paulaner Munchen Weisse

Running Total: 11 Beers

Our Inspiration

Often people wonder how much time they spend over the course of their lives doing a particular thing - waiting in traffic, sleeping, throwing backshots, etc. - but rarely do they take any proactive measures to actually document how many times they do it. This blog is dedicated to that: the religious documentation of totally mundane experiences. Enjoy.